Wednesday, December 29, 2010

How Not to Spend the Holidays

How Not to Spend the Holidays

I have made a promise to myself that next year I will leave this house during the holidays. I think this is the only home in the world where the phone and doorbell constantly rings. Most of the time the calls and visitors are not for me so I just try to look over at the caller ID to see who it is first and then make a decision whether or not to answer it. At the moment the house is very quiet. I am the only one home, but that will be changing in about an half hours because I’m expecting yet another contractor to come over to give me an estimate on how much it is going to cost to raise my house so it won’t flood just in case we have another killer hurricane. The only person I really want to see is the UPS delivery man. I’ve been waiting on a Christmas present to myself that I paid to have delivered in three days. That was twelve days ago. The last time I tracked it, it was sitting somewhere in Texas on December the 21st. You know I’m going to be expecting a refund on the shipping!
So, did I get everything I wanted for Christmas? No. I didn’t get anything on my list, and Santa wonders why adults stopped believing in him. I mean how hard can it be to deliver a six foot Asian singer to me? I gave him a picture to identify him by and everything. He’s lucky I didn’t pay for expedited shipping.
It was rainy and very cold all day here in New Orleans on Christmas Day, so all I did was cook and write. It had to be one of the most peaceful days I have ever spent. I only had one visitor, my daughter-in-law who came to pickup and transfer food since we both were cooking and it was too cold for the grandchildren to come over. But the day before I wanted to strangle everyone because my kids and their friends kept coming in and out of the house, letting the cold in and getting in my way while I was trying to cook and clean. Remember, if you see Mama on a ladder washing walls, you need to either leave, or help. So I gave up on washing the walls and pulled out my tablet and started writing. This didn’t work either since they felt they had to entertain me with conversation.
So far I have had three contractors come over to the house to give me estimates. The first one was about three months ago, and I’m still waiting on his estimate.
The second one was Monday at nine in the morning. People, just because I’m a woman it doesn’t mean that I am stupid. I’m very good at reading people, and even though it may appear that I’m entertaining you with conversation the fact is I’m listening to what you are telling me. The only thing he was supposed to do is take pictures, measure and give me an estimate on how much it was going to cost. He came through the door telling me that he could work a deal for me and expected me to sign a contract right then and there. He also wanted a check for $50,000 in advance so he can buy supplies. So I just let him talk, and flipped through this photo album of houses that he already lifted and then he went outside to do the estimate. He never ever checked the inside of the house which I took my time and cleaned before he came. He came back a couple of hours later with an estimate in this new binder he had purchased from Office Depot with a picture of my house on the cover. You know that got my mind to clicking. How do I know that he actually did any work on the houses that he showed me earlier in the photo album? He could have just taken a picture like he did mine and put it in the album. I’m not a fool; I’m not signing anything or giving $50,000 to anyone in advance without checking some credentials. He was quite disappointed when I refused to sign and told him I had to run the estimate over to my mortgage company.
I can’t wait to hear with this new one has to say. He’s supposed to arrive at ten so I hope he arrives on times, does what he has to do and leave early because I’m trying to juggle some administrative things so I can be ready for 2011.
I had an appointment with the dermatologist yesterday. My scalp has been itching and burning like crazy for the last five years. Not very good news. I’m not dying but my hair is never going to be the same. Someone should have told me that braids, pony-tails and weaves damages the hair. I walked away with three prescriptions and a lot of emotional problems. I know I’m getting older but it’s hard to be a cougar when you’ve been advised not to put chemicals in your hair. Yo, black woman here. I’m all for the natural thing, but I refuse to go around with gray hair. Nature and genetics have been very kind to me in every aspect except for my hair. I’m not opposed to wearing a wig for a year until when and if my hair grows back. I wear them most of the time anyway when I want to change my personality, but ladies, wigs come off when men run their fingers through your hair (smile).
I, for one am glad that Christmas is over. It’s time for me to get back to work on promoting my upcoming book “In Deep Kimchi,” which is scheduled to be released on January 9, 2011 with Sugar and Spice Press. I should have done the promotions earlier but I didn’t want my book to get lost in the Christmas novel buying frenzy. I worked hard on that book and it deserves a time for itself.
I sent another manuscript, “Strange Packaging,” off to Sugar and Spice for consideration yesterday. I wrote this book during the NaNoWriMo challenge and just loved it. It’s very sweet, but not erotic. I’m on this quest to find the true meaning of romance, and even though sex it nice, I feel there’s more to being in a relationship than how many times my characters can get off. That’s not to say I will continue writing sweet stuff, but for the moment I’m giving it a shot to see what my fans think of it.
I also sent a short story, “Swept Away,” off to be considered in a Yaoi Anthology. Yaoi is not for prudes. Either you’re into or you’re not. Fortunately, I’m really into it.
I really didn’t know how far behind I was on my administration work until I went to the database to update my “Submissions Out,” list. Boy was I shocked to find out that I had nothing out there waiting for consideration. What the hell have I been doing the last couple of months? I do have three books scheduled for publication for 2011, but that’s not enough since my goal is ten. So right now I’m working on a paranormal novel about the end of the world. It’s due on the 25th of January. I think I might make it if the phone stops ringing.
The contractor is now sixteen minutes late. If you want to work on my house you should at least show me that you can be on time since you were the one who called me.
Well, I better get back to work. It is not true that novels simply write themselves.
Imari Jade

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